twopinkcarnations:

thecommonchick:

I don’t want a sugar daddy but maybe like a sugar buddy. 

I just hit him up like “Hey how are you today?” 

and he replies “Doing great thanks for asking here’s $7,000.” 

Like Michael Buble and Santa

(出典： thecommonchick)

millennial-review:

marketiseyouravocado:

steamhunk:

Roses are red

Storm clouds are gray

Being homosexual doesn’t make your white privilege go away

匿名 whispered: Do you think you're good in bed?

lesbian-in-brighton:

I’m so fucking good at sleeping.

dirtgay:

dirtgay:

You either hate Nazis or you’re on their side it’s easy as that you can’t be morally grey on this

You can’t even say something like “I’m not into politics” or even the #woke version “I’m not educated enough on this matter to have a side” or something because even children know Nazis Are, like, Bad

luxwing:

transphobic people will be like “I dont understand what you are and I’m entitled to a polite explanation in detail about you and your body and if you are rude then it will be your fault that I hate trans and nonbinary people”

c0ffeekitten:

strawberryspoons:

Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future

Alternatively: I went through periods of depression so frequent and intense that I never considered that I’d actually make it to my 20s so now I’m kinda just making it up as I go

coolcatgroup:

Me waking up around 2 in the afternoon: “Ok I really should get up for the day”

*10 minutes later*

thepuppyclub:

I’ll be honest…I don’t want a career. I don’t want to work. I want to be LEFT ALONE and paid for it. 

linda-belcher:

I’m always a slut for lying in bed for hours on end doing nothing productive.